You SAY you can't bake, here's a lil something...

 PLASTIC DONETTES!!!  A must for me on road trips and when I'm super, duper hungry at the store.

 REAL BUTTER!!!

 DEVIL FOOD Donettes, not yellow cake, SHAZAM!!!

 Slice those puppies in half...

 Now this is what butter cream SHOULD look like.

 Canned pie filling.  I craved raspberry, but Vons does not sell it.

 Spread and dollup!!!

And eat...  YUMMY!!!